What do klingons say

Reply to 'How are you? Are you healthy? My name is Good luck! Good Health! Toasts used when drinking 'IwlIj jachjaj "May your blood scream! Do you understand? Yes, a little reply to 'Do you speak? How do you say How much is this? But when done well, conlangs make the fictional world seem far more real. In that regard, Klingon is the standard-bearer—and countless others have followed. But its most diehard speakers are still Trek fans, who—like Windsor—have given the language a life beyond the screen.

Whether you're meeting a Klingon for a beer, in need of a grave insult, or begging for your life, this guide has you covered. And here's an International Phonetic Association pronunciation chart, just in case you need help telling a velar fricative from a glottal plosive.

Why say "hello" when you can issue an order, instead? But be prepared for an answer that will lead to either Bloodwine or the taste of defeat. Yes, yes, go on with your "clever" jokes about "geeks" "wasting time" in their "parents' basements" or whatever the weak and insecure do when they realize they do not have what it takes to master the language of Wil'yam Shex'pir.

Do you know what the very first lines of the very first Star Trek movie were? It was back in and some of you may not have been born yet, so I will tell you. They were "wIy cha'!

They may have left us out of the last movie, but this week, the Klingons are back and more fearsome than ever. You can do the feeble, dishonorable thing and read the subtitles when we speak, or you can do the honorable thing and learn Klingon before you see the movie. No, no, further back in the throat. The 'gh' should be almost like a gargle. And what is this "beeehhh"? Are you a sheep? The word ends with a glottal stop. The mark is there for a reason.

Close the back of throat abruptly as soon as the vowel escapes — be'! Cut it off like a guillotine! You people always want to be so positive for some reason. Ok, HIja'. Again, you have a throat — use it!